It really hurts knowing that a relationship or marriage is over. At first you might want to deny it. The pain you are going through can be really excruciating. Your heart is being ripped apart and the pain is both psychological and emotional. A breakup can even affect your physical health. Moving on is a challenge, but you can do it! You can decide to make it a difficult journey or you can turn it into one of the most beautiful things that ever happened in your life. If you want to make this journey a fruitful one, if you want to use it as an opportunity to enrich your life, then you can consider the tips below.
Admit the Fact That It Is Really Over
The journey towards healing starts the moment you admit that it’s really over. Yes, this isn’t an easy thing to do, but you must come to the point where you tell yourself, “It won’t really work. It is definitely over”. The decision to move on is a way of loving the person you have been involved with for years, and it is also a way of loving yourself. The earlier you come to this realization, the quicker you’d move on. Don’t waste your time looking for ways to re-connect with your ex or to win him or her back. It is time you start thinking about yourself.
Learn to Love and Take Care of Yourself
You will realize that in almost every painful relationship that is doomed to end, one of the partners is often abused, in one way or another. You might have cared so much for your partner that you gave little time to yourself. No one deserves to be unhappy in a relationship and you deserve the best. No one can argue about that. You should convince yourself that you deserve more than a hurtful relationship. You should start giving yourself the love you deserve. This is time for you to unwind, to discover the beauty of the person you are and to do the things you have always loved to do which the relationship prevented you from doing. You can do this if you stop making excuses to meet or connect with your ex husband or wife. You should be able to tell yourself, positively, and with conviction that you deserve and will get the best. Pamper yourself and look for occasions to add color to your life. It is also time for you to rediscover the beauty and love of family.
Implement the “No Contact” Rule
It will be hard for you to move on if you continue to meet your ex husband or wife. After breakups the pain can be really terrible and you may feel as if you’d die if you leave him or her definitely. The truth is that you can really survive, and you can survive even better without him or her. Avoid making excuses to meet him. It is not easy to forget an experience of a love that has gone on between the two of you, but it won’t help if you continue to make excuses to re-connect with him or her. Some of the excuses can involve things like the desire for final closure, the curiosity to understand the reason for the breakup, and the fact that you both frequent the same circles of friends. The earlier you cut communicating with him, the easier will the healing process be for you. The sense of loss can also be so strong that you’d want to become friends with your ex, maintaining a physical relationship without any commitment. It is what they call “friends with benefits”. This is not an ideal thing to do. You will hurt yourself more and invite more trouble if you seek any contact with him or her.
Be Easy on Yourself
One of the things you should avoid after a breakup is the feeling of guilt. It is not uncommon to find people who go through life feeling guilty for a relationship that never worked. There is nothing you can do about the past. You can either accept or learn from it or you can allow it to haunt your thoughts for the rest of your life. There is no way you will be completely whole if you continue to feel that it was your fault that the relationship never worked. It is easy to point fingers after a failed relationship, to blame your partner and to foster feelings of hatred. This attitude of mind won’t help you move on. You can look at the relationship and move on with gratitude for the beautiful things that happened during that relationship. This is easy if you learn to forgive yourself.
You can easily put your life back together after a breakup if you focus on yourself and learn to love yourself first. Always remember that you can never love anyone properly if you fail to love and treat yourself with kindness and gentleness. Do not grieve for a lost love so much that your grief blurs your vision from seeing true love when it comes your way. A breakup can be a blessing in that it allows you to discover more about yourself, to focus on yourself and to cultivate qualities that can make your life and career even better than before. If you have spent your time striving to please people you love, then it’s time for you to please yourself and do things that make you happy and fulfilled.